“Going on an exchange isn’t easy,” says Ashley (AFS student in France), “and most people know that.” Leaving behind family, friends and the comfort of your everyday routine to start over in a foreign country may sound intimidating. So why do people do it? Why would anyone give up their perfectly good life to chase another one in a different country, where it’s bound to be challenging and unfamiliar?
It’s a fair question. And one that many students considering an exchange probably ask themselves. Let’s hear from some AFS students, all at different stages of their exchange programme, about the challenges they have faced and, more importantly, why they believe it’s all worth it.
The Language Barrier: Finding Your Voice
One of the most obvious challenges is language. Imagine suddenly being unable to express yourself, even for the simplest things.
“My Japanese is very minimal, and their English is great but not fluent, yet we make it work!” shares Layla in Japan. She emphasizes that “being present is the best way to bond with them.”
Ashley in France faced a similar struggle. “The beginning of my exchange was definitely the hardest. With my French being less than perfect (limited to just bonjour, baguette, and oui oui), I found it very difficult to communicate with my host family and peers at school. After spending all my life being able to easily speak with everyone in my country, to all of a sudden being silenced, it made me feel stupid and unqualified. But of course, this wasn’t true. It takes time to learn a language and with each passing day, I found myself understanding more and more, until one day, it just made sense.”
School and Social Life: Navigating New Norms
Beyond language, school and social life in a new country can also be daunting.
For Ashley (France), school itself presented an adjustment. “Although most of my memories in France are happy ones, there have also been many difficult moments. I struggle with school, since the school hours in France are a lot longer than in New Zealand, and there are moments when I think to myself: what am I doing here?”
Samantha, also in France, also felt the initial social awkwardness: “You have to try and talk to someone when you know about 10 words in their language and they might know 6 in yours. It’s scary when I walked into class and instead of getting to introduce myself, I went straight into a lesson.”
Layla (Japan) says she “… felt awkward at first, especially with my lack of understanding, but I found being expressive with my gestures really helped break the ice.”
Homesickness: The Emotional Rollercoaster
The emotional toll of being away from home can also be significant. Homesickness is a common, and often intense, experience.
For Luke, on exchange in Poland, the distance from loved ones has been a key challenge. “Of course, there have been difficult moments especially missing my friends and family back home. Staying in touch with them while being so far away has been one of the biggest challenges for me. But every part of this journey, including the hard parts, has helped me grow stronger and more independent.”
Matilda in Italy also felt it: “I will admit it has been a lot harder than I thought it might be as the homesickness hit like a train, I missed my family more than anything, especially within the first two weeks.”
Interestingly, homesickness often evolves. Samantha (France) says, “At first you miss home and then you don’t want to ever go back.”
The Trap of Comparison: Everyone’s Journey Is Different
It’s easy to look at others and feel like you’re not measuring up, especially in the age of social media.
Layla (Japan) struggled with “comparing myself to other exchange students (both international students and New Zealand). I would ask myself ‘how are they making so many friends? How come they’re hanging out with friends after school but I’m not?'”
The key is to remember that no two exchange experiences are going to be the same. Yours isn’t better or worse than everyone else’s. It’s different. It’s yours.
The Rewards: Why It’s All Worth It
Despite these challenges, the overwhelming sentiment from these students is that their AFS experience is profoundly rewarding. The difficulties they face ultimately lead to growth and transformation.
Layla (Japan) thinks that her “challenges have led me to become more thoughtful and become closer with the people around me.”
Ashley (France) also feels she has grown: “Going on an exchange isn’t easy but it is worth it. Looking back at my first week in France, I am so proud of how far I’ve come. I have changed more in this past year than I thought possible, and I know when I return to New Zealand, I’ll have become a completely different person. There have been many challenges and times when I’ve wondered if I made a mistake in coming here and spending so much time away from home. But now I can easily say the good times outweigh the bad, and I will never forget the experiences or people who made this year amazing for me.”
Samantha’s (France) takeaway is powerful and succinct: “I’m not scared to learn.”
For Matilda (Italy), despite the initial struggles, the experience so far has been incredibly rich: “However, on top of all this in the last six weeks I have met wonderful people, made some friends who I will cherish for a lifetime, managed to let go of the terrible homesickness, eaten my body weight in gelato and seen some amazing architecture and learnt how to thrive on my own.” She expresses immense gratitude, stating, “I will forever be endlessly thankful for this scholarship, so thank you so much I cannot express how much it means to me.”
And Luke (Poland), despite the challenges of staying connected with family, looks forward to sharing his journey: “Honestly, I’m not ready to return home just yet but I can’t wait to share my story, and I hope it might encourage others to take the same leap.”
Just Do It!
So, why do people go on exchange? Because the challenges, as tough as they are, are merely stepping stones to profound personal growth, incredible memories, lifelong friendships and family ties, and a new understanding of the world and themselves.
We’ll leave you with Laylas’s advice from Japan: “If you’re reading this, about to go on an exchange or contemplating on going on one, just do it! Embrace the hardship, the people and the unknown. You’re always going to be challenged in some way on your exchange, but it can only get easier from here.”
Feeling inspired to find out more about our programmes?
France, Italy, Japan and Poland are only four of over 50 countries you can go to on an AFS exchange!
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